Okay, okay, I know I promised you all a Christmas special and you voted for the Hot Floor boys, but my muse wasn’t co-operating earlier in the month so this is a bit late and should probably be a New Year’s special instead. However, it’s all Christmassy so you’ll just have to cope. We’re still in the twelve days of Christmas, though, right? 😉
Warning: this just over 5000 words of silly threesome smut, and features cross-dressing with a smattering of D/s kink. I meant to write something more plotty and weighty, but the muse wasn’t playing. He’s a right bastard sometimes!
My eternal gratitude to Susan S., Pender Mackie, JRose, and Lou Harper for giving me some exceedingly helpful last-minute beta reads. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my responsibility.
I should have known Rai was up to some kind of Christmassy mischief when I got his text, but work was too busy for me to think it through properly. You wouldn’t think people would still want to watch glassblowing demos on Christmas Eve—surely they should be busy doing their last-minute panic-buying?—but apparently the lure of mulled wine and Dylan in a Santa hat was too tempting for them.
I’ll give Dylan his due—he knows how to work a crowd and more importantly, how to convince them they need to spend their hard-earned cash in the shop on their way out—but I swear I was about ready to shove a red-hot punting iron where the sun didn’t shine if I had to listen to his god-awful Christmas playlist one more time.
So, when Rai’s text came through reminding me to bring Evan’s “gifts” back with me as he’d had an idea about how we were going to present them to him… well, I didn’t pay it much attention. Too busy gritting my teeth through The Darkness’ Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) for the umpteenth time.
I suppose I should have been thanking my lucky stars he didn’t have Slade’s Merry Xmas Everybody on there. Between Rai playing that back at home and Dylan’s selection at work, there’d been no escaping the Christmas music this year. Not that I’d have traded it all for the peace and quiet of being alone and freshly dumped like I had been the previous year, but a man has his limits when it comes to cheesy festive tunes, and I was well past mine.
So like I said, I probably should have been prepared for Rai plotting something, but by the time I’d trudged home through the rain, I was about ready to drop. We had a busy day tomorrow what with Stella and Denise coming round for a home-cooked Christmas dinner, so all I wanted was a shower, some food, and a cuddle up on the sofa with my two men in front of some mind-numbing television.
What I didn’t want was to be ambushed by Rai the minute I’d let myself in the front door. His hands were everywhere, divesting me of my coat, umbrella and bag of gifts while he talked a mile a minute.
“Quick! We haven’t got much time till Evan’s home. Oh my God, you stink. In a good way, but not elvish enough. You need some of that Orange Spice shower gel. Hope I left you enough hot water. Come on. Hop to it. Get washed. Inside and out, double quick. I have outfits for us.”
“Outfits?” Why did my heart sink at that word from Rai? Could it be because he’d started threatening to get us both furry pink bunny-rabbit suits? Or perhaps it was because my wardrobe now included, thanks to him, a teeny tiny Tarzan loincloth, an undersized schoolboy uniform and a dog collar and lead.
He got a real kick out of humiliating me. What made it even more embarrassing, was so did I. Not that I’d ever admit it to his face, but he could tell, the perceptive bastard. I swear, he was getting more toppy than Evan these days, the only difference being he still showed no interest in topping when it came to anal. Not that I minded. Evan was more than enough for me. Plenty more than enough. I spaced out a little, imagining his massive girth stretching me wide.
“Oi, earth to Josh. Come on. You’ve gotta see what I’ve bought.” Whatever these outfits were, they were going to be special because Rai got that grin he only gets when contemplating something particularly filthy. “Oh yeah. We’re going to blow Evan’s mind. Now hurry up. It’s going to take a few minutes to get everything ready, and I want us to be in position for when he gets home. The presents you made. They’re in here, right? Can’t wait to see them. Mind if I get them out while you shower?”
“Knock yourself out.” There’s no point arguing with Rai when he gets a bee in his bonnet. I contemplated crying it off for a microsecond, but Rai seems to have a gift for knowing what Evan and I both need before we’ve figured it out for ourselves. So I headed upstairs and grabbed a very quick shower, just long enough to sluice the worst of the soot off my arms. I paid more attention to douching, as Rai’s plans usually seemed to involve me getting something oversized shoved up my back passage. Not that I’m complaining or anything. I just liked to be prepared. Prepared physically, anyway. There’s nothing that could have prepared me mentally for what I saw when I walked through to the bedroom, towelling my hair.
Rai, wearing a shimmery green minidress and a pair of red and white striped stockings. I blinked, but there he still was, frowning at another piece of shimmery green fabric in his hands. “It says one size fits all, but now I’ve got it out of the packet, I’m not so sure.”
Oh God. I took in the cellophane packaging strewn across the bed. The paper insert showed a girl in a “sexy elf costume”, complete with the candy-cane stockings and green Santa-style hat. On her and Rai the raggedy-hemmed dress was a fairly respectable mid-thigh length. Respectable for a tart, anyway, and Rai was definitely that.
On me, though… assuming I could even get into the thing…
“I’m not wearing a dress,” I said, surprised at how much my voice wobbled. I didn’t sound sure at all.
“Of course you are. Evan’s going to love it.”
“But it’s a dress.”
“So? Just think of it as a tunic if it helps.”
Okay, I could just about buy that. “And the stockings?”
They were kind of sheer and held up by a band of elastic lace around the top. I suppose I should have counted myself fortunate there was no suspender belt involved. “Nope. They’re definitely stockings.”
“Stop fussing. You’re going to look great.”
Before I knew what was happening, Rai had my arms above my head and was pulling stretch velour down over my face. I got a lungful of new fabric smell while I wriggled into the constricting dress. Yes, definitely a dress rather than a tunic. I turned to look at myself in the mirror and wished I hadn’t.
“Underpants? Please?” I pleaded, pulling the dress down as far as it would go. The hem skimmed my arse at the back, and at the front it left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Rai grinned, evil incarnate. “Not a chance. Come on, sweetheart. Stockings on, and I don’t want to hear you grumbling or I’ll have to gag you. I was thinking something festive like tinsel. Bet that’d feel horrible, all stuffed into your mouth.”
He’d do it as well. Rai was proving to be more of a sadist than Evan. Said I brought it out in him, because I take my punishments so sweetly. He was always saying stuff like that about me being sweet and good. Sometimes I’d put it down to envy because he has far more of the brat in him when he submits, but Evan’s always said he loves the contrast between us both. Hard to believe, I know, but I had to trust Evan, and he’d never shown any favouritism. Pretty amazing when you consider how long he and Rai had been together before I came along.
But then again, they were both pretty amazing blokes and I was lucky to have them. I had to remind myself of that whenever Rai set out to play with my humiliation kink. It might be excruciating, but it was well worth the pain.
I pulled up my right stocking while Rai pulled up the left one, and then we both donned our elf hats. I can’t say I felt especially sexy in the outfit and I downright refused to look in the mirror again, but Rai definitely rocked the look. He sashayed down the stairs in front of me, like he’d been born to wear a dress. “I’ve set up a scene in the living room,” he said. “Evan’s going to see this when he gets in, so we’ll have a minute or two to get ourselves prepared when we hear the front door.”
I took in the Santa outfit he’d indicated. It hung on a wire coat hanger from the living room door hook, labelled with strict instructions to get dressed in it before entering the room. It was signed, “Your misbehaving elves.”
“I don’t know. I think I’ve been pretty good,” I griped, tugging my dress down just a little further. It was no use, though. The minute I let go, it sprang back up again, revealing my crown jewels.
“Not that good.” Rai led our way into the living room, closing the door firmly behind us. “I mean, here’s me gone to all this trouble and you’re not even hard.” He glanced critically at my crotch, making me want to cover it up with my hands. I didn’t, though, because that definitely counted as misbehaving in Rai’s rules. I had to be proud and brazen, according to him. Probably the two most challenging directives he’d ever given me.
But as I stood there, Rai gazing at me in that horribly revealing outfit, it happened. Blood started pumping south at the same time as it rose to heat my cheeks. I swear, the two things had to be connected. Maybe I had a faulty valve in my circulatory system somewhere. Just a bizarre genetic quirk, and there I was, doomed to get turned on by being embarrassed. Not that I’d have it fixed if there were an operation available, because although I’d never, ever admit it, it was hot, being watched like that.
“Better. Now, I was originally thinking the two of us should be on our knees facing the door, but then he’s not going to see his presents properly, so now I’m thinking we should be facing away, bent right over. Let him get a good look at the goods.”
“Don’t think God’s going to help you out of this. Or the Angel Ken. He’s a dirty bugger, he is. Now come on. Get down. I’ll do your plug first.”
I glanced up at our tree topper: an obscene homemade angel cobbled together out of a load of white feathers, a vintage Ken doll, and a fair-sized piece of flesh-coloured modelling clay. You can probably guess what Rai had made with that. Yes, the Angel Ken looked delighted to see my humiliation.
I glared at him, but got down into the position Rai had indicated. Cool, lube-slicked fingers probed my hole. I could have done this myself, of course, but Rai knew how embarrassed I was when he did it for me. Especially if he talked me through it.
“Hmm… you’re feeling a bit tight tonight, sweetheart. Not really into the idea? Oh, but this tells a different story.” He squeezed my erection then flicked my balls, making me gasp at the sweet burst of pain. “Oh yes, that’s better, felt you unclench then. Don’t tell me I’m going to have to resort to CBT to get your little hole into the gaping chasm it’s going to need to be. I mean, the plugs you’ve made are pretty thick, but they’ve got nothing on Evan’s cock. You’re going to look like the Box Tunnel after he’s pumped you full of his brandy butter.
I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of a response. I just pressed my burning forehead to the rug and tried to ignore the pine needles sticking into me.
“Yeah, you like me talking dirty. Opens you right up like a flower. Now, here goes. One candy-cane butt plug coming up.”
I didn’t need to see the plug going in to tell what part Rai had reached. I’d made them out of white and red swirled glass, and they tapered from a narrow point up to a challenging bulb, then tapered again. The base was wide, but I’d finished it off like an actual candy cane hook. Not remotely practical. A whole twelve inches long, really heavy and you couldn’t have sat down while wearing one. You probably wouldn’t be able to walk either. Oh God. It didn’t feel like it, anyway.
My eyes began to water at the thickest part of the bulb, but then it popped through the ring and my muscles pretty much sucked in the rest enthusiastically. My body seemed to have a much better idea of what I enjoyed than my brain did. I should probably give my brain the rest of the night off. Having it hanging around, giving me a running commentary on just how ridiculously filthy I looked was bound to be a bad idea.
“Oh baby. You look amazing. Ev’s gonna cream himself when he sees you like that. Hang on. Just one thing to finish it all off.”
I heard the rustle of tinsel and somehow I just knew what Rai was about to do. Sure enough, the tinsel garland passed around my balls and the base of my cock several times, Rai tightening it just enough for me to be able to feel the throb.
I groaned into the carpet. “Please. Not tinsel.”
“Hush now or I’ll hang some jingle bells off it too.” But then Rai leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “Don’t worry. I’ll do exactly the same to myself. You’re not alone in this, you know.”
I knew, and I luxuriated in the feeling of togetherness, arching my back like a cat, trying to get more of Rai’s touch, of the soft fall of his hair against my skin.
Just then we both heard the front door.
“Shit!” Rai exclaimed, and leapt up. I turned my head so I could watch his frantic preparations. Just a couple of sloppy fingers and then he sat on the butt plug, somehow managing to both wince and grin as he forced himself down on its shaft. And as the cane went in, true to his word, he wrapped tinsel around his own package. Hot pink tinsel.
“Pink and red?” I gasped. Not only had he made me look like a travesty of a sexy elf, but he’d teamed up pink tinsel with a red and white candy cane? It was a crime against colour-co-ordination, much like the gaudy tree he’d decorated with the vintage glass baubles and multicoloured lights. “Am I in pink too?”
Rai winked. “Yep. Looks great on you.”
My humiliation was complete, so of course my dick decided it was about time to start dripping pre-come. One thing my body can guarantee, if I’m already embarrassed beyond belief, it can always find a way to make things even more tortuous. Rai slipped down beside me, mirroring my pose and nudging close so we were cheek to cheek
“Ho, ho, ho,” Evan called at the door. “Now where are my naughty little elves?”
I listened for the creak of the door through the blood pounding in my ears, and somehow managed to pick up Evan’s gasp of surprise when he first caught sight of us.
“Well that’s summat I didn’t expect to come home to.”
“We thought you deserved your presents early,” Rai said. “Josh made them.”
“I can tell that, pet.”
I felt Evan’s bulk settle on the floor behind us, soon followed by a gentle tug and a twist on the plug. Oh God. That extra weight in the handle added force to even the gentlest movements, and soon I was squirming and panting, just like Rai alongside me.
“Seems to me like you’ve both been very well-behaved elves,” Evan said, still using his normal, conversational tone. “Care to tell me what you’ve done that’s so naughty?”
My tongue was tied, my brain cells fried. Lucky for us, Rai never seems to have that problem. “We peeked at our presents, sir. I wasn’t going to, but Josh made me. He’s a terrible influence.”
I squeaked in inarticulate protest, but when the thwack landed, it was on Rai’s arse rather than my own.
“That’s for fibbing,” Evan said, his voice all growly. “Josh would never do that. And this is for peeking.” The second sharp smack was followed up by one to my own backside.
“But I didn’t—” I began, only to be cut off by another arse-stinging slap.
“That’s for backchatting the boss. Father Christmas doesn’t take kindly to his elves misappropriating the candy-canes either. How am I meant to put these in some poor kids’ stockings now? They’ve gone all…” There was an excruciating stretch as Evan tugged on the plug, “Yep. All funny shaped. I thought as much.”
“You could put them in our stockings,” Rai volunteered, and I was pleased to hear him gurgle the last word. Evan must have been wiggling on his plug just as insistently as he was on mine.
“Oh yes, your stockings. Very nice.” I heard lacy elastic snapping, then felt it happen on my own thigh.
“You should see Josh standing up. His legs go on forever.”
I wanted to kick Rai for that suggestion, but instead I just tried to melt into the carpet. Didn’t work. Before I could protest, Evan was lifting me to my feet. He looked me up and down while I stood there, blushing so hard I nearly passed out.
“Stunning,” he eventually pronounced.
“We could dance for you,” Rai offered from his position on the floor.
“No!” I yelped. No way. Not dancing. Not in an elf outfit. There were limits to what humiliation I’d find a turn on, and that was a step too far.
Evan lifted my chin and I got a proper look at him for the first time since he’d got in. Thankfully he wasn’t wearing the fake beard Rai had left him, so apart from the Santa hat and coat, he was all Evan. All my gorgeous hunk of a boyfriend.
“Dancing?” he asked me in a low voice.
I shook my head emphatically.
“Josh would love to dance for you,” Rai crooned. “He was telling me as much earlier.”
Evan’s brow drew into a frown but he squeezed my shoulder affectionately. “Don’t worry,” he murmured, then raised his voice. “There’s only one elf who’s going to be dancing tonight. The same one who’s been lying his socks off and trying to top from the bottom. Come on. Up you get. Dance little elf. Dance for us both.”
“Me?” Rai protested, but he still had a sly look about him. I mean, he knew he looked great in that dress, all slim lines and flawless, hairless skin between the hem of the skirt and the start of his stockings.
“Yep. You’re going to dance and watch attentively while Santa here treats his well-behaved elf to a ride on his sleigh.” Evan pumped his massive erection as he said the last word, just in case we were in any doubts as to what he’d meant. My mouth began to water. “You’d better dance well, little elf. If I don’t think you’re putting your heart into it, you won’t get to come tonight.”
So that was how I ended up sitting on Evan’s cock, while Rai danced like a demon to his favourite seventies Christmas compilation. Okay, so the music wasn’t particularly sexy—not even the Elvis tracks—but Rai knew how to move and with Evan grinding away inside me, I was pretty much in Christmas heaven.
It was after the sixth track when I noticed the tears of frustration in Rai’s eyes, just after Evan had moved us both into doggy style. My heart melted for him. That glass plug had to really hurt by now, especially with the way he was rotating his hips. It probably stung every bit as much as my back passage was starting to. Evan’s a big man, and he’d been pounding away for some time.
So it wasn’t just Christmas charity that made me lean back to whisper a suggestion to Evan. Something we’d not yet tried but I reckoned we could all enjoy. Especially Rai.
“You filthy little elf!” Evan landed a sharp slap on my backside, but he sounded excited rather than annoyed. After a couple more deep, kidney-bruising thrusts, he stilled and smirked at Rai. “How big would you say the largest dildo we’ve ever used on you was, pet?”
Rai continued to dance even as he screwed his forehead up. “Err, I dunno. Was it the one that fella brought round that time. What was it called? The Screamer? I think it had a twelve inch circumference.”
“And you enjoyed it?”
“Oh yes. Hurt really good.”
“So if, for instance, me and Josh were to put our dicks together and both fuck you at once, that wouldn’t be more than you could take.”
Rai froze. “Are you serious?”
“Not if you don’t want to, pet.”
“Of course I do! I’d fucking love to. Oh my God, I’ve only been on at you about it for, like, years.”
“Years?” That was me. They’d only known me for one year. We’d only been properly together for the past four months as well.
Evan’s calming hand landed on my spine and rubbed. “I’ve never DP-d him with anyone. I’ve never even done double anal with anyone, ever. Always thought I’d end up causing someone an injury. It’s not summat you want to do casually when you’re this big. But since you suggested it and Rai’s champing at the bit, I reckon I’m ready to give it a go.”
Oh my God. I hadn’t known. I’d never have dared suggest it if I’d known it was such a big deal. I looked between the two of them and gulped. “Are you sure?”
“More than sure.” That was Rai. He stepped right up to us and caressed my cheek. “I trust you two to look after me. I am going to demand a whole bottle of the good lube, though.” That was the really pricey stuff we ordered online and saved for special occasions, like when trying out toys that were larger than usual.
“Can I take my elf outfit off now?” I asked.
Evan agreed before Rai got a chance to butt in, so I started stripping right away, tinsel and all.
“I’m keeping mine on.” Rai stood with his hands on his hips. “It’s only going to make it more exciting.”
“You sure, pet? You might get a bit hot in all that velvety stuff.”
Rai pouted, then stripped off his dress and tinsel too. “Fine, but I’m keeping the stockings on. Josh, would you mind fetching the lube?”
I could tell by the look on his face he had something he wanted to speak to Evan about in private, but those moments didn’t bother me anymore. It usually just meant the two of them were discussing toppy stuff, and it only ended up getting me all nervous and embarrassed if I listened in.
When I got back downstairs, bottle in hand, I could see my instincts were correct. Evan sat naked on the sofa, stroking his dick, while Rai knelt between his legs, head on Evan’s knee.
“We’ve figured out the best way to do this,” Evan began, “Bearing in mind our different sizes. Rai’s going to sit back on me first, facing away from me, while you get in between both our legs and stretch him up some more. You’re going to have to set the pace. Be the top dog.”
What? I blinked, stunned by Evan’s assertion. “You want me to top?” Not just physically topping—I’d had my dick in both of them plenty of times—but it sounded like I’d have to be more active this time around.
“Don’t worry. I’ll give you plenty of orders,” Rai said. “And I’ll get to see your face while you’re doing me. How cool is that?”
I think I blushed. I was about to wimp out, to make my excuses, when Evan fixed me with one of his most affectionate smiles. “You can do it, chuck. I know you can. And we’re all going to enjoy it. You know that too.”
I ducked my head and poured lube out onto my palm to warm it. Yes. I knew. And what’s more, I knew that if I really hadn’t wanted to, they wouldn’t try to talk me round. I could trust them in this.
“Okay,” I said, as Wizzard’s I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday started up. “But I am going to have to change the music. This is not even remotely sexy.”
“Fine by me,” Evan said, gagging Rai’s protest with a hand over his mouth.
After changing over to one of Evan’s chill-out albums, I spent longer than usual on prepping Rai. He’d already had a good stretching from the buttplug, but taking me and Evan at once was going to be tough even for a power-bottom like him. If I’m being brutally honest, I also wanted to delay the moment when I had to take charge. But eventually Rai insisted that enough was enough, and he only needed to get two cocks up there, not an entire army.
Rai slipped down onto Evan’s massive dong like it was nothing but sheer bliss, taking him in balls deep. The two of them lay back against the sofa cushions, Evan’s hairy legs spread wide, pushing Rai’s stockinged ones even wider. Evan reached down to stretch the skin around where they were joined.
Rai moaned and undulated. “C’mon Joshy-pie. Want to feel you in here too.”
I stared at my slippery fingers. Right. More lube. I drizzled a generous helping of it down Rai’s perineum, watching Evan spread it around, working the muscles under Rai’s skin. Fear prickled under my skin as I contemplated hurting Rai, but since right now he was starting to curse that I should get a bloody move-on, I had to battle with my nerves. I felt around gently, pleased to discover Rai wasn’t as tightly stretched as he looked. I gently worked my finger in alongside Evan’s veiny cock. Felt like the pressure in Rai’s arse could crack rocks, but my prick perked up at the idea, masochistic bastard that it is.
Rai groaned. “Oh, that’s fucking amazing. More. Come on. You can give me more.”
One finger soon became two, then three. I was pleased to see that after an initial softening, Rai’s erection recovered. Beads of nervous sweat collected on my forehead, and Rai and Evan both looked pretty hot and bothered themselves. I was having that effect on them. Wow. A strange kind of pride welled up in me. Was this what it was like to be a top? I wasn’t particularly into the responsibility for their pleasure it involved, but for the first time I was starting to see the appeal.
“Is that enough, pet?” Evan panted. “Are you ready?”
“I was born ready,” Rai assured us.
Evan snorted with laughter, but as I eased myself into position his expression turned more serious. Both of them watched me. I lowered my gaze and concentrated on using my fingers to help guide my way in.
Rai whimpered when I breached him and I held still. I dared a quick glance up at them, but they were both still watching me.
“That’s good. I’m good,” Rai gabbled. “Oh fuck. I’m really fucking good. C’mon, Josh. Look at me while you’re pushing in. Look at us both.”
Evan nodded. “Feels great. You squeezing in next to me. Did I ever tell you how good you feel? Never felt owt like this, though. Fuck, you’ve got a beautiful cock.”
I flushed from the soles of my feet to the roots of my hair, but somehow I managed to keep eye-contact with them both as I gripped Rai’s thighs and ploughed in the rest of the way, flittering from one set of eyes to the other when it all got too intense.
Intense was just the right word for this whole situation. Intense heat and pressure around my dick, intense expectations, intense gazes fixed on me.
But I didn’t crack under the pressure. I didn’t wimp out. Because these were the two men I loved, the two who’d let me gatecrash their happy relationship and accepted me with every bit as much love and affection as they gave each other.
Yes, I could give them this back. This shag of a lifetime. A first time for all three of us.
When Rai gave me the okay, I began to move. Painfully slowly at first, and keeping enough of me inside so as not to accidentally slip out. I groaned with each thrust, Rai alternately grunted and wailed, and Evan kept up a stream of barely coherent dirty talk. Noisiest sex we’d ever had, and we’d had it pretty damn loud since moving into a house of our own.
It felt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Evan pressed up close to me, Rai clenching down around me, the both of them lying beneath me while I worked us all into a needy mess. My hips began to jerk, the rhythm dictated by tiny thrusts of Rai’s which I followed gratefully.
Rai was the first of us to shoot, barely managing a choked out warning before he was spraying jets of come all over his chest and mine. The rippling of his muscles almost pulled me right with him, but I didn’t want to lose control and risk hurting him.
I concentrated on watching instead. Rai looked stunning as he came, his mouth hanging open and his eyes shut, Evan’s arm wrapped tightly around his chest. Evan watched me over his shoulder, his expression hard to read until he reached out with his other hand and stroked my cheek.
“Thank you,” he mouthed, and gave me the sweetest smile I’d ever seen.
I pulled out then, my balls already starting to blow, and I came all over Rai’s dick and belly, painting him with more spunk. Evan’s eyelids drooped and he bit his lower lip, then lifted Rai off him, ever so gently and let him fall back onto the sofa. Evan and I knelt side by side, arms around each other’s shoulders. I coaxed out the last dribbles of come as Evan began to spurt, coating Rai from chin to stockinged thighs. Then the two of us collapsed to either side of Rai.
Rai was the first to stir. “I feel like I’ve been marinated in spunk.”
“Happy Christmas,” Evan mumbled.
“Best Christmas Eve ever,” Rai agreed.
“Josh?” they both asked.
Oh God, was I going to have to figure out how to speak now? I opened my eyes, and at the look of concern on both their faces I summoned up the energy.
“Best. Christmas. Ever.”
“Nothing else you want?” Rai enquired. “We’ve just fulfilled Evan’s elf fantasy and my DP one. Anything you’ve been jonesing to do or have done to you?”
I contemplated it for a moment. “Yeah, there is one thing.”
They both stared at me, instantly alert, the pair of insatiable pervs.
“Could we please just have a quiet evening in front of the telly? I’m fucking knackered, and I don’t want to have to even think about anything else today.”
And so that’s how we ended up watching a slasher flick with no arguments from Rai—all three of us wallowing in a blissed-out heap.