excerpt

Einstein coverThe sound of somebody clearing their throat startled him. Rory assumed a more respectable pose—I wasn’t groping my bum, honest—but when he saw it was just Nathan Wright, his weirdo neighbour from across the landing, he wished he hadn’t bothered. “Hey, Natey-boy. What’s up?”

Nathan’s brow furrowed. Hard to tell in the bad lighting—the landlord still needed to replace the bulb on their floor—but Rory could have sworn there was a hint of a blush. The touch of colour suited the bloke, who was otherwise all washed out with his pale skin and blond hair. Looked like he wouldn’t know a sunbed from a sandwich toaster, which was a shame because once you got past the nerdy dress sense, he was kind of attractive.

If you liked your men geeky, that was.

“I, uh. I’ve got something I need to…” Nathan trailed off and gave him a desperate look, which with his skinny face and big, bespectacled eyes made him way cuter than he had any right to be.

“Fire away, mate,” Rory muttered, while searching his jacket pockets. Ah, there were his keys! He pulled them out and found the one for his front door. Nathan followed his hand with his eyes and bit his lip.

“You’re gay, right?” Nathan blurted out. “I mean, you must be. That equals sign tattoo on your neck. And the earrings. And the men you sometimes come home with late at night.”

Seriously? “What are you getting at?”

Nathan crossed his arms and glared. “Nothing. I mean, I wasn’t spying. Just, you know, I like to know who’s outside when I hear voices. In case it’s burglars or something, and I need to call the police.”

“Wow, you’re a one-man Neighbourhood Watch squad,” Rory deadpanned.

“But you are gay, aren’t you?”

“Yes, fine. I’m a flaming homo. And I’m about to go into my flat and do outrageously queer things, possibly involving the contents of my salad drawer.” Not that any cucumbers lurked in there at the moment, but it sounded kinkier than using a plain old dildo.

Nathan tsked. “There’s no need to get defensive. And have you got at least six inches?”

“You what?” Surely he hadn’t heard that right. “Did you just ask how big my knob is?”

Nathan stuck his chin out. “I need to know.”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“B-because I need to perform fellatio on someone with an above average sized penis in the next ten minutes.”

“You what?” Rory rubbed at his ears in case they were playing tricks on him again, but he was pretty sure he’d caught that right. “You want to give me a blowjob? Why?”

“Do you need a reason?” Nathan was tapping his foot, his embarrassment seemingly given way to defiance. There was something about that pose and the way his eyes flashed that was kind of a turn on, come to think of it. “And I need to know you’re big enough. And you still have your foreskin. That’s of paramount importance.”

Whoa, fetish alert! Rory cupped his groin. “You’ve got no worries there, mate.”

“That’s all satisfactory, then. All relevant criteria met.” Nathan sounded relieved. Really, this was one of the strangest conversations Rory had ever had.

Rory opened his front door. “Okay, come on in, then.”

“No, it has to be my place. I need to get it on camera.” Nathan pulled his door wide open and took a step back. “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

On camera? “Is this a dare or something? I mean, not that I mind, but I’d rather you weren’t doing it just to prove a point.” What was he saying? Rory’s knob reminded his brain hello, potential blowjob action? “Are you even gay?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Yes it’s a dare, or yes you’re gay?”

“Yes, I’m gay. Look, do you want this blowjob or not? I’m pretty good at them.” Now his initial nerves had passed, Nathan was showing a different side. An arrogant side. And strangely enough, Rory liked it.

“Go on, then. And I’ll be the judge of how good you are.”

Nathan huffed and disappeared into his flat, but he left the door open behind him.

Rory locked his own door and followed.

***

Are Nathan’s oral skills as good as he says they are?! Buy your copy of Einstein’s Peep Show to find out…